Hate

Giahn Carlson. When I remember he exists.

the word diva, whether boastful (the word on bedazzled underwear) or derogatory (“Ugh, she’s such a diva.”)

“Blah blah blah (not a) special unique snowflake blah.”

Seether

chillax I can’t believe real people really say this.

mysterious silence and shabby treatment

overly repetitive lyrics. Call him Dr. Feelgood, do they? Will I feel alright, after spending time with him?

humming. No one cares what song you have in your head.  Stop.

“It is what it is.”

the verb to rock

whispers

Joanna Newsom

the fact that I haven’t had sex in 2008

Fred Willard. I know it’s an act. That makes him more awful.

Pastels (colors not art implements)

James Taylor

excessive enthusiasm

James Blunt and his ilk

ambient temperatures above 80 degrees

Red Delicious apple skin

deerfly bites in the coinslot

underestimation of children’s intellect and emotions

the idea that a book or film can’t be good unless it has “sympathetic” or “relatable” characters.

men making kissing sounds as I walk by

sweat, on almost everyone

Andrew Lloyd Weber

irresponsibility, in myself and others

Brussels sprouts

lima beans

having dirty hair

“Drift Away” by Dobie Gray

Ann Coulter

the use of grow to mean improve or expand “Our bank will help grow your business.” Nyagh. This is cropping up in a lot of advertisement lately, and shouldn’t, as dictionary.com agrees: “… the transitive use applied to business and nonliving things is quite new. It came into full bloom during the 1992 presidential election, when nearly all the candidates were concerned with “growing the economy.” The Usage Panel is decidedly less fond of this development than business leaders and politicans are. Eighty percent of the Panel rejects the phrase grow our business.”

the use of anymore to mean now or lately “The telephone rings a lot anymore.” It’s regional, evidently. No excuse.

the sound of styrofoam friction

watching people eat cereal

smug, jokey folk music

panic attacks

most human feet

snow peas

Joseph Fiennes