June 28, 2007

I lay in an MRI machine for 90 min+ today. I dealt with it, and passed the time, like this:

I’m in a birth canal. I’m in hypersleep. They said I could keep my rings on but the silver one is buzzing in time with the machine. I’m in a booth listening to experimental electronic music. (Ernt ernt ernt ping ping ping.) I’m Madonna in the beginning of the “Bedtime Story“video. I can hear the magnets crackling in my brain. I’m the batteries in a giant’s vibrator. I will name one film for each letter of the alphabet. Thank you, Xanadu. I can no longer feel my arms. I hear thunder. Luckily, I believe this entire machine is plastic. Only .04% of people react to this contrast dye with anaphylaxis. Eight more minutes is entirely too long and I wonder what would happen if I urinated all over this human conveyance bed. I want the pictures, except I don’t want to see my own eyes as balls. That is not the same man who put me in the machine. I know I’m free to go and I will just as soon as I can feel my legs.


3 Responses to “Tubloidial”

  1. Sara said

    It sounds scary! Were the results okay though?

  2. jennitive said

    Don’t have the results yet. They’ll probably be fine.

  3. Sara said

    I’m sure they will be. :)

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