The Curious Case of Jennjamin’s Butt
January 24, 2009
Since I hate everything, and I like to posit from a shaky pedestal that the 90’s were Where Everything Went Wrong with regard to the Academy Awards, I’m going to try to see all the nominated films this go-’round. Even though I have to sit through B. Button and Milk, which I presume I will yawn through, having already seen the damn good documentary.
After that, I will start watching all the films nominated for Best Picture ever, in chronological order. Hold me to this, will you?
So next year, I’ll be either abashed (either because the Academy has always sucked, or because I end up finding The Green Fucking Mile palatable) or even more of a snide, pretentious hellcat.
Also, my camera’s broken.
jennitive 
I will.
Jenjamin’s butt might be quite a size after sitting to watch all those!
I think watching all the films ever nominated for a Razzie would be far more entertaining.
I’ve probably seen most of those already. Encore is doing a marathon! http://www.starz.com/Promotions/TheRazzies?src=encore_mktg&med=referral&content=the_razzies_johnwilson&cmp=programming
I’ve seen 24 of them, and liked most. Cheesy trumps sentimental.
One of the great mysteries though is why the Razzie for ‘worst actor’ has never been won by either Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves or Pierce Brosnan?
True, true. Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Nyagh.
Oh man, I completely forgot Keanu Reeves was even in that.
He was the FBI agent
Haha yeah, Keanu invented a whole new accent for that role. Something like a cross between a constipated Bostonian and an English gentleman with a bad case of indigestion.
Exactly. That accent is actually a dead ringer for an FBI agent, if you’ve ever met one in person. He just did it in the wrong movie. Sadly, Reeves suffers from dysthespia. He is actually one of the greatest actors of his generation, if it weren’t for all the mixups. Parenthood was intended for Bill & Ted. The Matrix? You may know it as My Own Private Idaho. His Much Ado About Nothing performance was intended for The Replacements. It’s actually a very sad affliction…you people are POINTLESSLY CRUEL!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=DYSTHESPIA&go=Go
The only known treatment for dysthespia though makes actors play exactly the same character in every film.
See Michael Caine and Christopher Walken for examples of ‘cured’ dysthespians :)
True enough. One of the more debilitating side-effects of Prozact
Oh ju so funneh.