The Curious Case of Jennjamin’s Butt

January 24, 2009

Since I hate everything, and I like to posit from a shaky pedestal that the 90’s were Where Everything Went Wrong with regard to the Academy Awards, I’m going to try to see all the nominated films this go-’round. Even though I have to sit through B. Button and Milk, which I presume I will yawn through, having already seen the damn good documentary.

After that, I will start watching all the films nominated for Best Picture ever, in chronological order. Hold me to this, will you?

So next year, I’ll be either abashed (either because the Academy has always sucked, or because I end up finding The Green Fucking Mile palatable) or even more of a snide, pretentious hellcat.

Also, my camera’s broken.


13 Responses to “The Curious Case of Jennjamin’s Butt”

  1. RJ said

    Jenjamin’s butt might be quite a size after sitting to watch all those!
    I think watching all the films ever nominated for a Razzie would be far more entertaining.

  2. jennitive said

    I’ve seen 24 of them, and liked most. Cheesy trumps sentimental.

  3. RJ said

    One of the great mysteries though is why the Razzie for ‘worst actor’ has never been won by either Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves or Pierce Brosnan?

  4. Jenn said

    True, true. Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Nyagh.

  5. Sara said

    Oh man, I completely forgot Keanu Reeves was even in that.

  6. Fig said

    He was the FBI agent

  7. RJ said

    Haha yeah, Keanu invented a whole new accent for that role. Something like a cross between a constipated Bostonian and an English gentleman with a bad case of indigestion.

  8. Fig said

    Exactly. That accent is actually a dead ringer for an FBI agent, if you’ve ever met one in person. He just did it in the wrong movie. Sadly, Reeves suffers from dysthespia. He is actually one of the greatest actors of his generation, if it weren’t for all the mixups. Parenthood was intended for Bill & Ted. The Matrix? You may know it as My Own Private Idaho. His Much Ado About Nothing performance was intended for The Replacements. It’s actually a very sad affliction…you people are POINTLESSLY CRUEL!!!

  9. RJ said

    The only known treatment for dysthespia though makes actors play exactly the same character in every film.
    See Michael Caine and Christopher Walken for examples of ‘cured’ dysthespians :)

  10. Fig said

    True enough. One of the more debilitating side-effects of Prozact

  11. Jenn said

    Oh ju so funneh.

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